Five and a half years being a uni student

Hi. Hello

The premise of this writing has been in my head for quite some time, probably around the same time I finished my master's. Yeah, I finally obtained my master's degree.

(photo taken by Jeje)

And months later, I am finally able to sit down and start writing this entry. This is something that I've been wanting to write for so long. So, here it is. The story of my five and a half years of being a university student. The idea also comes from so many stories I heard about how different it is pre and post-Covid students, so I thought I'll share how it was before Covid. And also because I just love story-telling so much.

In August 2017, I started my freshman year in college. I was attending English Language Education Study Program at Sanata Dharma University. I was 18. The first year of college was fun because it was mostly just having classes, hanging out with my classmates, and participating in a lot of events. 

The first event was Breaktime 2017 and I was a photographer and was in the photography club as well. The next event was English Action Days 2018 where I was in the drama division. English Welcoming Days 2018 I was in the event division. I also got the opportunity to be a part of an international conference held by my study program and my faculty. I joined Dialogue Magazine in my second year and stayed until I graduated. English Action Days 2019, I was a secretary but also got to be a moderator during the talk show on the second day.

Some photo recaps that I pulled from my hard drive:

(looking back, those 8 photos represent my 3,5 years in PBI, more or less)  

In terms of the classes, the 4th and 5th semesters were when things got a bit more intense with some educational-related subjects that really focus on language teaching and assessment. One of the most memorable moments was definitely having the same lecturer who taught learning program design and 

language learning assessment courses. It felt like a five-credit course. But making all those lesson plans and yearly programs was totally worth it. Even when I was doing my teaching practicum across the country, my search history is still 'operational verbs in Bloom's taxonomy' because 'understanding' is not enough. It really helps with lesson planning and creating a creative and innovative learning atmosphere.

From the first until the fourth semester, the struggles were about classes and balancing them with the committee works. When I was a first-year student, the chairperson of the committee would come from the second-year student. And in both of the committee works I was a part of, it was emphasized that there should never be a reason for us to skip classes because of the committee works. Classes should always come first and should always be our top priority. 

I remember one time, there was a rehearsal in the venue of English Welcoming Days 2018, 30 kilometers away from the campus. The committees were scheduled to depart at 4 pm and the rehearsal would start at 5-ish pm. It was a Tuesday and I had a creative writing class that started at 4 pm and ended at 5.40 pm. I told my coordinators and said that though I was in the event division, I couldn't go at 4. I also asked permission from the steering committee and they agreed. I wasn't the only one in that class. I think there were 2 more friends, who happened to be my classmates, but they were in a different division. We thought we would come to the venue on our own, but turned out, the steering committee and the chairperson were waiting, and we departed together. It was a tracking simulation, and my station was pretty far away. The chairperson accompanied me walking to my station since it was a long, dark, and silent walk. The light only came from our phones' flashlights and a few streetlights or someone's house. It was one of the stories that made it to my core memory. 

***

Back in the day, the concern was more about passing the subjects with good grades. For me, committee work was more on the fun spectrum, but my classes were always the priority. The worry is about not showing up to classes and not passing quizzes. And though we had the 25% rule (iykyk), the lecturers always remind us that the 25% is for emergencies only. It's just a bit of tolerance if one is sick or has a family emergency. Even some lecturers have a policy that if one is late for more than 10-15 minutes, one's presence in the class won't be counted. And we were scared of that. A 7 am class means waking up at 6, skipping breakfast, and arriving at 6.50 am. An 11 am class means struggling to find the closest parking space and probably running to the class on the third floor.  A 2 pm class means rushing lunch and sitting in the class at 1.45 pm.

Weekly quizzes were another thing. They could be counted as 5-10% of our final scores. Progress tests 1 and 2 were scarier ones, some lecturers would count that 20-25% of the final scores. Final tests or final projects could be 30%. Attendance is somewhere between 5-10%.

Sometimes the work was individual, some other times it was a group project. How did we make the groups? Most of the time it was more often by counting instead of an automatic grouping between classmates. Presentations were scary because we wouldn't dare read what was on the slide. Speaking tests were both exciting and terrifying. Speaking one and two were more fun. Going to the third, fourth, and fifth semesters was a bit more serious.

There are some subjects in which the stakes were higher. Specifically, all the grammar courses (one to six) and the pedagogical ones. Both categories are such a foundation in English Education. The thing is, we were trained to be someone who is fluent in grammar because we will be teaching students. Meaning we couldn't get things wrong, we wouldn't want to misguide our future students.

From a perspective of a grammar Nazi (yeah I was obsessed with grammar), it was so important to get things right. Some materials were memorization, or at least patterning is the key. Inversion sucked at first, but once you get the hang of it, you're good. That applies to conditional sentences too. Gerunds and infinitives were more fun, they bring back previous texts I have read before and consider which one sounds 'right' (made some well-designed presentations you can find here). Modals and degrees of certainty were kinda funny to me. Adjective and noun clauses are great too. I owe everything to Betty Azar. 

Mastering almost all those grammatical aspects really helped me in academic writing. Grammarly is helpful though, not gonna lie. But having those grammar rules in your head reaallyyyy helps. Even I sometimes still make some SV agreement errors, and Grammarly corrects them for me, so that's a win. thesaurus.com is an amazing website. Even Microsoft Word has its own thesaurus as well and it is helpful too. Oxford and Cambridge Dictionaries will pronounce words, give you the meanings, and show you some idioms related. Cambridge also has some grammar-related articles that are useful too.

***

In the 6th semester, I had a micro-teaching course, a preparation for a teaching practicum at school at the beginning of the academic year. But then Covid happened, so everything went online for the following two years.

The pandemic made me realize how social I was. It was so depressing to live in fear and isolation, away from any social interaction. I was doing the rest of my sixth semester online from my home, just like everyone else. I was taking Grammar 6, micro-teaching, statistics, sociolinguistics, research methods, play performance, cross-cultural understanding, and business writing. Some courses didn't have any problem with turning into online courses. Unfortunately, play performance and micro-teaching lost their spark and challenges. And service program design as well (it was still scary standing by in front of my laptop at 5.30 and praying the internet connection would be stable, but I am sure it wasn't as intense as the real SPD).

My batch lost our opportunity to have a play performance show in the auditorium. We lost the opportunity to practice in the micro-teaching lab and had to figure out how to record ourselves teaching. 

Despite the missing play performance and teaching practices, there was one thing that was overlooked because of the pandemic situation. It was the fact that I got to spend almost 2,5 years with my classmates before everything turned online. I got the chance to experience college life for 2,5 years, and I might have taken that for granted.

The time I spent online wasn't really in my core memory. But I do remember some of them, such as the sociolinguistics class with Ms. Ella, learning statistics independently, and then the rush for online SPD every Monday morning, research proposal classes, and attending a math class. So, there is a policy to take a course in another study program, and until my sixth semester, I hadn't done it. I finally did it in my seventh semester. And I took Teaching Mathematics for middle school.

The following semester, in addition to my thesis class, I took teaching the Indonesian language to Foreigners class. I was a grammar tutor too for batch 2020. Before that, I was a tutor for a year, teaching grammar and pronunciation for batch 2018 and batch 2019, respectively, so it was like going back to what I was doing before. And grammar is my passion too (if that wasn't obvious enough lol).

I was working on my undergrad thesis while taking one class and tutoring. It took a few months until I finished everything and was allowed to register myself for a thesis defense. The thesis defense was on June 2, 2021. At that point, the situation was 'okay,' Covid still existed, but the fear wasn't as crazy as in 2020. 

I couldn't really go out of town to find a job at that time due to the rising number of Covid cases, but also at the same time was thinking of continuing my study to obtain a master's degree. 

So in August 2021, I officially became a graduate student.

It started out pretty rough, mostly because it started out as a lonely journey. In addition to the lone-wolf aspect of it, the expectations were pretty high. During the first semester, I would wake up 10-15 minutes before class, wash my face, and turn on my laptop to join the class. As soon as the Zoom ended, there was no continuing the assignment. I did the assignment probably one hour before the deadline. It was a stressful period. I wasn't used to reading journal articles and there was a pressure of not procrastinating the group work. A journal's conclusion is my bff and scanning is a shortcut I always took.

When I got to the end of the semester, it took everything in me to finish the final projects. And December of that year I also went to the eastern side of Java. I think there are one or two finals that I submitted in early January. I put a PS note in one of my assignments, apologizing for the incomplete and late submissions, and promising a better one when I got better.

But one thing that I should underline here is how wonderful the people that I get to know in my master's. 

I got to continue the journey with some undergrad friends and some seniors from PBI. Some others were new people. One of the earliest memories that I have was going to Mbak Aan's boarding house to pick up some fresh milk that she brought from her hometown. I remember having a conversation with her while I was still sitting on my motorcycle. And it was probably the first time I met her too. 

The second semester of my master's was finally offline. I wrote this in the previous post, and how that was when things got better, and finally I wasn't alone in this journey. Well, I was never alone, but it felt that way when all I did were sitting in front of my laptop and talking to people through a microphone and a screen.

Lots of laughs and hangouts with my classmates. There is one specific place where I and some friends spent so much time working on our assignments in. Earlier this May, I went there with Alvia, and I felt so many emotions. We were talking for hours before leaving for the campus. A lot of memories were made there, and seeing the corners, I can see the memories playing like a movie. I told her that the last time I went there was in November 2022, before my departure to Thailand. 

"Had a workshop with some lecturers, it was a Wednesday because I skipped Bu Nanik's and Pak Barli's classes. When the workshop ended, I went here. It was a rainstorm, and I remember how even the lobby doors couldn't be closed because the wind was so strong. I sat there [pointing at one table], and it was just so mellow and kinda emotional. I ordered a lychee mojito, and Mbak Aan ordered some dumplings. We just spent an hour because she has to go back to Mertoyudan. No photos of us though," I recalled the moment. 

The second to last visit was with my teammates. We made an appointment to prepare the lesson plans and materials. I thought the place closed at 10, so at 9, I said that I wanted to talk to everyone. It was a heart-to-heart talk that I had with my teammates. It was difficult at first, but necessary. 

I think it was a Tuesday. I remember because I received a piece of news on Sunday evening, and Monday was a disaster. My class was at 2 on Monday, so I went to the train station in the morning and made a stop at my favorite coffee shop, and ranted a bit to the baristas that I was friends with. Went to the class in the worst mood, and left as soon as I could even when the rain was so hard. 

Back to my second semester. It was when I spent so many mornings with Mbak Aan too. The lovely morning walks. And the classes? The most fun I had in so long. Though it was still difficult (who says master's easy), it slowly became more enjoyable. A lot of coffee, a lot of food too. And the regret that used to haunt me slowly faded away. What was once I considered the worst decision of my life became the best decision I've ever made. 

I don't remember a lot, but here are some photos from my 2nd semester:

Between the second and third semesters, I started to panic because I hadn't published any articles yet, but that was one of the requirements to graduate. I spent some days pulling an all-nighter with Pak Barli and Mbak Ayu in the common room, working on the journal articles. I finally made it. Two articles were published under my and Pak Barli's name.

Before the third semester began, some friends organized a picnic. That part was fun too.

The third semester began. At this point, the regret had fully disappeared and it turned into gratefulness. Quoting Taylor Swift, 'It turned into something bigger.'

The tech edu class was something. The research proposal, advanced educational linguistics, and teaching practicum were very memorable. Oh, and I taught another grammar class.

The research proposal and advanced educational linguistics were small classes, there were only 6-7 students. And in these classes, we mostly spent writing our articles. Pak Barli always chimed in with new ideas that some may take. And he always bought us food too (can't forget about that part), and sometimes would invite us for dinner in a restaurant near campus. He is the best thesis advisor I could ask for. The best there is. 

The teaching practicum class has gotta be the most 'happy, free, confused, and lonely,' sometimes 'miserable and magical' and sometimes 'we forget about the deadlines.' Nonetheless, it was very enjoyable. I signed up to teach in Ms. Mega's DLMD class. A class that I was always so excited about. It used to be CALL, but the abbreviation evolves into something I couldn't quite remember. There were two classes, Wednesday afternoons and Thursday mornings. I chose the Thursday morning class, Mbak Aan and Jiksau were in the Wednesday class. But one time, I joined their observation in the Wednesday class before my advanced educational linguistics class. That was the class that I taught back in 2020. I remember some names, but I never really saw them. When Ms. Mega called their names, some rang the bell in my head.

I, for some reason, remember that Wednesday vividly. It was probably the second week of the semester. I was there in the multimedia lab with Mbak Aan and Jiksau for "observation" purposes. Ms. Mega asked the students about the difference between learning English now and ten years ago. No one answered until someone raised her hand. She spoke fluently and her answer was great. Ms. Mega then thanked her while calling her name. Little did I know, that someone will become a good friend of mine in my story later on.

After that observation, I still come to observe my real class the following morning. For the next 2,5 months, I had classes on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays. I would teach in Ms. Mega's class for my practicum assessment, but I think I became a substitute teacher twice when Ms. Mega was out of town. My real teaching was scheduled on October 27.

And then, the overseas teaching practicum announcement arrived. Not until a week after did I finally decide that 'Yeah, I'll try.' It was written that if we got selected, we did not have to teach in the class that we picked before. I forwarded the PDF file to my mom, and she said she would support me. I contacted Bu Nanik and Pak Cons. There were 5 candidates. We were asked to make a teaching video and a motivation video. 

So I did the requirements. And I got accepted.

I wrote this on Instagram when I talked about the announcement: 

"For me, it all began with an announcement I got from mas Yuka that I got accepted for the overseas ELT Practicum. I still remember that afternoon. It was a Tuesday, and unfortunately I was sick af. It was a fever and flu, can't really process anything. So, reading his text I was like: oh okay 👁️👄👁️"

It was indeed like that. That was Tuesday, October 25.

Technically, I did not have to teach in Ms. Mega's class anymore. But the thing was, I got that notification 2 days before my scheduled class, and I have prepared all the materials. And it was just morally wrong to cancel the class 2 days before.

So I still taught in her class. With a hoarse voice and a runny nose. But I didn't regret that decision at all.

(a screenshot from my archive)

2 weeks after that, I joined the Wednesday class. It was Mbak Aan's schedule to teach. I couldn't stay for the whole class because I had Pak Barli's class. But I definitely had caused some chaos at the beginning of her class. She wouldn't let me go lol. I guess that's just what happened I am just naturally chaotic. 

Being chosen for the overseas teaching practicum also meant that I had to leave the class I was tutoring.

this was taken on the last day I taught them. november 18, 2022

And here's a funny story: they were my mom's grammar class. 

The following morning, November 19, 2022, I went to Jakarta. And on the following Monday, I departed from Jakarta to Chiang Rai, Thailand.

The one month I spent in Chiang Rai was...wonderful. And I have talked about it in the previous post too.

However, there's one thing that I haven't written in that post. I have put hints here and there, but this is going to be the first writing about it.

The date was December 16, 2022. It was the last Friday before we (the 8 delegates) went to Bangkok and eventually Jakarta. The schedule on Friday was a communal mass and then big lunch. And before the mass, I just had a bowl of Indomie (they have it in Thailand). When everyone went for the noodles during lunchtime, I was just sitting and talking to my friends because I wasn't hungry. 

But

Their meatballs were the best thing, so I didn't want to miss that. After everyone finished their meal, I decided to have some. I stood up from the chair, and one of the fathers approached me and talked to me.

That conversation changed the path of my life.

Father Tom offered me to come back as a teaching staff when I finished my study. Yeah, to come back to Chiang Rai. 

Before that, the only thing I could think about after graduating was looking for a job in either Jakarta or Surabaya. That is all. And I didn't plan to graduate soon too, I thought I would graduate in April or May. But at that moment, I determined to graduate as soon as possible. I get the opportunity to come back to a place I fall in love with, a place that opens my eyes to so many more possibilities in this world, and a place that reminds me of what I am capable of, and I don't want to miss that. 

Fast forward to January 4, 2023. There was an invitation to present our reflection. Ms. Rina invited us, and there were also Bu Nanik, Pak Kus, Bu Tri, and Pak Ouda. The delegates weren't complete, though. We were missing Mbak Ayu and Mbak Rachel. So there were only Mas Yuka, Mas Abel, Mbak Gitta, Jeje, Desi, and me.

After the presentation, I stayed a bit and talked to Jeje and Desi.

And then an email came through. 

I remember the moment I read the sentence: we would like to hire you when you finish your studies. 

And the only thing I could do was give them a hug.

"I am coming back," I said.

***

After that day, my focus was to graduate as soon as possible. I chose a thesis for the publication path and I submitted the article in early January, which meant I could register myself for the thesis defense the following month. Big thank you to Pak Barli who made that happen. 

On February 21, 2023, I defended my thesis. 

My thesis defense day was a bit chaotic. Mbak Onik, Natasha, and I were told that the exam would be online. The night before, one of the examiners proposed an offline thesis examination to avoid delay and an unstable network. At first, it was scheduled for 2 pm. But then at 11 on D-Day, I was notified that the exam was rescheduled for 1 pm. 

Uh-oh. 

I notified Mbak Onik and Natasha, prepared my stuff, and left as soon as I could. But then, long story short, I passed the exam and celebrated it with my friends.

The amount of love I received on that day was immeasurable. 

I didn't write this in my last post though, at the time of writing it, I had finished revisions and everything else. I was writing what I thought was my 2022 recap. I didn't put this one (I did write about my friends' defense). That post was more about my chosen family. But I guess it's a habit of messy writing, I'll pick details here and there, then put them all together here. 

After the defense, there were some days of me going to campus and getting things done. On one of these days, I met Jessica. 

She is my junior in high school and in college. She is one of the first people that I told about Thailand. I told her when I was going there in November, and I told her too when I got the job offer. And she is one of the loveliest people in my life too. The only thing she asked me from Thailand is a photo of a billboard with a Thai celeb on it, and glad I got it for her. I am so happy to know her.

And a couple of days after meeting her, I was finally done with the administrative stuff post-exam.

***

Quoting Taylor Swift, "I gave my blood, sweat, and tears for this." 

Here I am. The end is the beginning of something new.

The past two months have been very lovely and wonderful.

This next part will be more about the loveliest people that I have in my life.

Going through my camera gallery puts the widest smile on my face. The amount of love I receive my whole life is everything I am forever grateful for. This month I spent so much time with so many wonderful people. Here's a recap:

Mid-April, I organized a simple Iftar meal with some classmates 

At the end of April, I attended Bella's wedding with some of my classmates. 

On Mayday (May 1), I went to Pak Barli's house with some friends: Hanna, Maria, Angel, Luther, and Pak Ardi. There was a surprise when I arrived there, and it was hilarious af. 

So that was May 1st, and I had to teach my private student on the northern side of the city. On the day before, I agreed with his mother that I could teach him at 10 instead of 8 am. Then in the afternoon, I just remembered that I would go to Klaten in the morning, around 9am. I texted the mother and apologized for it. It should be our last meeting before my student's exam, but I rescheduled it to 7.30 until 8.30 am. Once the lesson was done, I headed to campus immediately.

Hanna notified me that she and Angel had arrived at campus. Long story short, we got ready and went to Klaten. We met Luther and Maria and then continued the trip. It took about an hour and when we arrived, Pak Ardi was already there. I heard a faint sound of Pak Barli conversing with someone. I asked Pak Ardi and he just said, "Bu Barli."

Once I checked in the kitchen, it was Mbak Aan. Imagine my surprised Pikachu face seeing her there lol. I was just replying to her text, saying that 'yeah I'm going to Pak Barli's house.

(via tenor)

And later that afternoon, Alfira and Miguel joined us. Then we cooked some food! It was a cookout, but indoor. Here's a photo:

may 1, 2023

And then it's Hanna and Maria's thesis defense that I attended. On the same day as Hanna's exam, three of my classmates also defended their theses: Mbak Mia, Mbak Artine, and Mbak Ranggi.

The following day, I hung out with Fira. We went to Fore and watched The Guardians of The Galaxy Vol. 3, which was spectacular 

may 4, 2023

On Saturday, May 5, I hung out with Alvia. This is the meetup that I have written early on. 

Monday, May 8, I invited Maria and Hanna to go to Ganjuran as well on the following Monday.

Here's the photo recap:

***

Remember the only person who answered Ms. Mega's answer in that Wednesday class? This next part is about her. I am glad that I get to know her.

Around the same time I got connected with my Thai students on Instagram, I accepted a follow request from an account that has some mutual friends with me. I was just thinking, 'Oh maybe she is a PBI student.' 

Her name is Merry. At that time, I just know that she likes Taylor Swift as I do. And then, on my thesis defense day, I uploaded a photo carousel and she commented on that photo, congratulating me. 

Then, we chatted through DM, talking about Taylor Swift. It was a back-and-forth reply to one another. One time, I asked her whether her grammar class was the one that I taught back in 2020, and she confirmed that. However, I did not teach her because she was in the other half of the class. I asked her again whether she was in the DLMD class, and she said yes. 

Then all the dots were connected. She was the student who answered Ms. Mega's question, that I remember very vividly how amazed I was at her.

We continued talking about TS and whether she will come to Indonesia, and I vaguely talked about my departure.

Then, we both watched GOTG3 when it was out (on our own), and it was clear that we both love the movie, and we talked about it briefly.

And then after that discussion, I had a desire to give her something. Something special. So I texted her, and we agreed to meet on a Tuesday (out of topic, but so far, there are so many, and when I say many, I mean it, so many good things that happened to me on Tuesdays. I am just saying. Even if it's not good, it's memorable or made into my core memory). 

May 16 came, and it was one of those days when I am genuinely happy. I met her and we talked. I gave her the gift, and she also gave me 2 mugs. The picture in the first one is from the album 'folklore', and the second one is my favorite Taylor Swift song: New Year's Day. I opened them when I got home and let me tell you, that gift, got my jaw dropped.

It was a short meeting, but I am happy that we get to talk. And took a photo too.

After meeting Merry, I texted Desi because she wanted to hand over a gift for me to bring to Thailand. When I met her, she also prepared something for me, and I wasn't prepared for that. She knitted a scarf for me :")

On May 17, I met Jessica to give her a gift. No photo though, because it was a rush. But I am so damn happy to be able to give her that gift, and that she loves it <3

***

Have you ever met people who just...change your life for the better? The world is a better place because they simply exist in your life.

This post started as a story of my college life, but then I realize that what makes my college life special, who makes my life special, was everyone involved in it. Every time I put my playlist on shuffle, or just randomly picked a song and let Spotify picks the next one, and Rachel Platten's Better Place plays, there is this warm feeling in my heart, knowing how blessed I am to have such wonderful, kind, loving, caring, amazing, smart, funny, fantastic, and badass people in my life. And I am so grateful for every one of them. My family and my friends keep me going in this life.

I said this once to someone, "What hurts the most is when the memory slowly fades away, no matter how hard I try to remember them."

These posts that I made were an effort to remember those memories. I once read a Latin proverb, "Scripta manent, verba volant," which means: Spoken words fly away, written words remain. That has been my reason for all those thousands of words of writing that I make, typed or handwritten.

My writings and those photos are the only time machine I will ever have. 

No matter how far we've walked in life, there will always be some point where we feel stuck and not knowing what to do. In those times, remembering the good things in our life keeps us going. Know that no matter how shitty our day is, the better ones are coming too.

When I got to this part, at this point this post writing has achieved more than 5000 words and I have been continuing it for a couple of days. I wanted to post it yesterday, but I thought, I haven't really included everything I wanted. And apparently, everything that I wanted to write is around 5300 words.

If you made it here, thank you.

My name is Vina, and I am living my best life with the best people in my life. Gratefulness is the key to genuine happiness. I've been trying to see the good things in life, no matter how bad it is, and it really helps me go through this life.

-v
friday, may 26, 2023
6:20 pm