a blessed year
Hi, hello
My last post was in October, I started writing this in January, and now it's March. A lot has happened. My intention with this writing was actually a 2022 recap, but let’s see where this is going. This might not be a 2022 recap as I intended initially.
To start off, 2022 was when everything started returning to normal. I have got offline classes and it was probably the best thing during my enrollment in the master’s degree situation, which at first, I thought was a huge mistake. My enrollment, I mean.
Yeah, I had offline
classes and got to meet my friends, but I also just went back to my psychologist near the end of 2021. I wrote about
this in a post that I reverted back to a draft and will never see the broad
daylight of the internet. In that post, I said that it felt like enrolling myself in a master's degree was a mistake and I shouldn't have signed up in the first place. However, this decision changed as time went by.
And things did get better.
In February, I turned 23. What's special was that my birthday was a day after the Chinese New Year. On my birthday, a friend sent me a cake, and another sent me a cup of coffee and a sandwich. Little did I know, that coffee and sandwich were the beginning of something more that maybe I'll talk about in another post. Eventually.
March was when I finally became active again on Instagram after I have been inactive for months and just uploaded once in a while because I was too scared about what people thought about my uploads. I was doing a lot of morning walks with Mbak Aan, and it really helped my sanity. I laughed a lot throughout the semester, maybe a little too much. And I no longer overthink people's opinions towards my stories, I am sharing them no matter what because I want to.
Changes in my enrollment
What I remember from March - April - May and the following semester (August, September, October, and half of November) was probably working on countless college assignments. But this time, I was working on them together with some friends. I was no longer doing them alone an hour before the deadline. I finally have some friends that I can work on my assignment with.
Entering the second and third semesters, my college was back offline, which I was so grateful for. My routine shifted from waking up 10 minutes before class and sitting in front of my laptop to waking up early in the morning and preparing myself to go to campus.
There are countless photos, but here's a glimpse of them:
That photo collage does not even do it justice.
I am so grateful for their presence in my life. I am so grateful that their paths crossed mine.
I made an Instagram reel about a month and a half ago, which couldn't cover how happy I was with them. They are a blessing in my life that I would never take for granted.
It was such a major change in my enrollment and how I live my life. It started as a miserable and lonely journey for me, but when I got to spend so much time with my classmates, it changed. It wasn't a lonely one anymore, and it turned into something beautiful and dynamic. We laughed, we smiled, we joked, we were stressed together, we took a bunch of photos, and we made it to the finish line. I might not have said it explicitly, but they saved my depressed ass from drowning in the pit of darkness for the second time. I'd drowned before and was about to drown again, but they saved me. They're the light at the end of my dark tunnel that led the way out. My younger self would be so proud of me for not quitting graduate school. And things do get better in life. No matter how shitty our life was, there are always the good things in it. I may have thought enrolling myself in a master's degree situation was a mistake, but then I find solace along the way. That would've never happened if I had quit.
Some mistakes have to be made in order to achieve the other side of life. I was imagining scenarios if I dropped out of this master's degree. I'm glad I didn't. Now I could never imagine what my life would be if I didn't stay with them until the finish line. It's gotta be one of the best decisions I've made. And the fact that my decision to stay also led me to another big moment and eventually changes in my life. I met so many wonderful people in my life, and I am eternally grateful for their presence.
In January, I joined 30 hari bercerita. It's a movement where people are writing stories for 30 days, and they can talk about literally anything. On day 26, I uploaded a photo carousel with this caption:
Meet my master's program classmates, the best part of my master's journey.
Nggak kebayang bakal sampe di titik ini.
Semester 1, bangun mepet kelas dan cuma cuci muka doang. Tugas digarap mepet dan apa adanya. Masuk bulan kedua, rasanya pengen udahan aja, pengen keluar. Menjelang akhir semester, udah nggak sanggup lagi ngerjain paper. Meskipun akhirnya beres juga walaupun tertatih-tatih.
Masuk semester baru, kelasnya mulai offline. This was where things got better. Ternyata satu semester yang dijalanin sendirian di depan laptop berat banget, semua beban dipikul sendiri. Akhirnya ketemu temen2, akhirnya bisa bilang 'punya teman seperjuangan.' Akhirnya bisa ke kampus dan ketemu temen2, hangout bareng, makan, intinya kumpul.
Semester 2 adalah waktu di mana aku mulai bisa menikmati kuliah master. Pelan tapi pasti, paper yang harus dikerjain terselesaikan. Dan, ngerjainnya pun nggak sendirian. Ngerjainnya bareng. Ada temen-temen yang memperjuangkan hal yang sama.
Semester 3, tinggal punya kelas bareng 2, edutech sama practicum. Proposal sama electivenya nggak bareng sekelas karena sesuai pilihan. But, I was always, always, looking forward to those classes. Energinya. Ketawanya. Hahahihi nya. Semuanya.
Trus dua hari yang lalu, 10 orang classmates aku sidang thesis. Aku nggak bisa deskripsiin pake kata-kata seberapa bahagianya aku liat temen2 sidang. Sumpah, suenenggg bangettt, bahagiaaa banget. Those are the people who I spent the last 1,5years of my life with.
Dear MPBI 2021,
Aku senenggg banget ketemu kalian ❤️ I couldn't ask for better classmates. Y'all have been very supportive, kind, and hard-working people that I'm so glad to know and have our paths crossed with one another. Makasih banget udah bikin 2022ku super berwarna dan spesial.
Buat 10 temen-temen yang kemaren habis sidang: congratulations on making it this far. Gak sabar nungguin kabar baik dari masing2 orang. Buat yang belum sidang, yuk berjuang bareng. Dikit lagi punya gelar master di belakang nama kita. Sukses ya semuanya, may those photos be a reminder of the great time we together
Terima kasihh sekali sudah jadi bagian dari bahagiaku setahun ini💙
Luv, Vina
I hope it's not exaggerating, but I am dead serious when I say that I am the happiest when I am with them. They are a big part of my life for the last one and a half years. They were the most amazing and supportive classmates, and it was such a blessing to be with them and spent my master's study with them. I could never express and describe that gratefulness enough. They are my chosen family and I love them so much.
Dear MPBI 2021,
Mbak Aan, Mbak Ellen, Mas Yuka, Mbak Rachel, Mbak Mia, Mbak Ayu, Mbak Ranggi, Mbak Onik, Mbak Gitta, Bella, Lisa, Mas Abel, Alvia, Natasha, Mbajen, Jiksau, Mbak Artine, Pak Domi.
I would like to express my highest gratitude. This past one and a half years have been the most amazing time that I got to spend with y'all. The second and third semesters were the happiest I have ever been. I am so damn happy to have our paths crossed. It delights me that there are a lot of life lessons during this portion of my life. Even when it's not the best experience, it's a life lesson.
In 2 days, 10 of you will be officially crowned that master's degree behind your names. And I am super proud of everyone for making it to the finish line. I cannot wait to see what the future holds for you. I cannot wait to hear every good news coming from every single one of you.
Know that I value the bond we have all this time, and know that I am thankful for everything. You all are great, kind, high-spirited, smart, diligent, and fantastic souls that deserve the best of the best. The world is waiting for you, and you are going to nail it like you nail this master's degree.
tons of love,
vin
The international overseas teaching practicum in Thailand
I decided not to quit, and that brought me to the next big event of my life. The opportunity that changes my life and perspectives. Had I decided to quit, I would not have gotten this experience.
Fast forward to November 2022, I got the opportunity to join the overseas teaching practicum in Thailand. The team consists of 6 master's students and 2 undergraduate students. They became the family I never know I needed. We spent a month in Thailand, and that did not include the other times we spent together before and after the practicum. We stayed in Xavier Learning Community for about 26 days. We became a part of that community and I think I left a part of my heart there.
This is our very first group picture. The first of many more to come.
The one month that I got to spend with them in and with XLC was probably one of the happiest periods of my life. In that one month, we grow closer and build this beautiful bond with one another. They're my chosen family. A family that I love so much. A family I am so glad to have in my life. I mean, we only have each other for a month when we were in another country. My team and XLC were the best happiness package deal I have.
From 2000++ photos and videos, I try my best to put everything together:
A day after I posted about my classmates on Instagram for 30 hari bercerita, I upload another photo carousel with this caption:
This is more than just an overseas teaching practicum. This is a life lesson.
Let's begin, shall we?
For me, it all began with an announcement I got from mas Yuka that I got accepted for the overseas ELT Practicum. I still remember that afternoon. It was a Tuesday, and unfortunately I was sick af. It was a fever and flu, can't really process anything. So, reading his text I was like: oh okay 👁️👄👁️
The following couple of weeks, we were busy finding plane tickets, making lesson plans and funding proposals. That was a tough couple of weeks until we arrived at XLC on Nov 21, 2022.
And after that, the 4-week period passed in the blink of an eye.
During the time we spent together, I learnt a lot. I learn how to be resilient, adaptable and empathetic, to acknowledge my mistakes, to be selfless, to care about others, and to love myself.
We learn to accept each other. The good and the bad. If they can accept me the way I am, why can't I? I've always had a lot of questions such as why can't I be like that, why am I like this, etc. During that four weeks I spent with them, I felt so loved and accepted, and it helps me accept myself. Thank you so much for that <3
We had arguments and issues, but I still love them so so much. It was difficult at first, but it got easier as we go.
They were my family during that 4 weeks, and they still are. They are the ones who convinced me that there are a lot of kind people in this world.
-
Dear @yohanazelza @grcaayy @rachelinal @brigittarosemarie @yoannesyuka @rommyromrome @daughterofissac,
Know that you guys have helped me more than I could ever describe. Know that you guys are kind souls who deserve the world and every good thing in it, and everything you dream of.
Thank you for our time together, thank you for all the laughter and the smiles, and definitely for the karaoke nights. That one last video is my favorite.
Thank you for every single thing that we went through together. They're all life events that will forever be a part of me, a part of us. 10 slides are definitely not enough to share all the photos, but those are the key moments and my favorite ones.
Luv, vina
***
If it seems that I have an attachment issue and haven't been able to let go of my experience in Thailand, it is because I am. I am not going to, and instead, I am going to embrace tight those memories. It's sad but also happy at the same time, you know? Sad that we will never experience that together again, but so damn happy that we got to experience that together. For the times we spent together, the laughter we shared, the karaoke night we had, the meals we ate, the arguments we got into, the trips we went on, the car rides we were in, the lessons we teach, the tears we wept, the ice creams that melted, the coffee we drank, the mass we went to, the jokes we said, the game we played, the nights we spent together, the sleepy and foggy morning we had, and the growth we had during that four weeks, thank you.
It's not that I don't want to move on, whatever the definition of that term is, but it's difficult to let go of the bittersweet memories that have become such a part of my life. I am not going to forget it just like that. It's the happiest I have ever been and the genuine happiness that I felt. But hey, there's good in goodbye. I wouldn't be the happy, cheerful, energetic, and most importantly, a grateful person that I am today if it weren't for those experiences I have had. I cannot describe how grateful I am for everything.
The final week before our departure to Bangkok was the most bittersweet. I remember that day very vividly. It was a Tuesday after my oral drill class with the XIP brothers and sisters. That afternoon, I realized how lucky I was to be with them, to spend time with them, and basically to have this whole experience. I went to the café in the female dorm building, and started writing a farewell speech that I would like to read on the farewell night the following Friday. The speech eventually reached around 1300 words. This is my favorite part of the speech:
"Words cannot express how much this experience means to us, and we’re eternally grateful for the opportunity given to us. The opportunity to grow and to become a better version of ourselves.
We’ll never forget your kindness; we’ll never forget this family who welcomes us with the warmest and greatest hug."
***
Two weeks ago, I proposed a dinner idea with my teammates. A reunion, I would say. A bit of reschedule, but then we gathered for an early dinner on the 5th of March.
And that surreal feeling of happiness came back. It was like a dream.
Thank you for our time together, thank you for all the laughter and the smiles, and definitely for the karaoke nights. Thank you for every single thing that we went through together. They're all life events that will forever be a part of me, a part of us.
Every time I start writing in my journal about my Thailand experience, or just simply remembering the good days, I just feel the warmth and the happiness. Thank you for making my first experience going abroad unforgettable and wonderful.
Mbakgit, thank you for the laughter and the jokes, and for sharing similar classroom situations since we both taught XIP. And thank you for that morning talk, 2 days before we went back to Bangkok.
Mbak Ayu, thank you for the long walks and the amazing photos. Your energy and immense teaching preparation will always motivate me to do the same.
Mbak Rachel, thank you for being my roommate for a month, for the breakfasts, and for those random days when we went on some runs. You ran and I walk though because I couldn't keep up xD
Jeje, thank you for your energy and expertise in so many fields. Thank you for your help with those sate ayam and the gorgeous photos of me that you took. Your uniqueness and kindness inspire me.
vin
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